Self Serve Albuquerque stands out as more than just a sex shop; it’s a feminist and Queer-owned space dedicated to sexual wellness, education, and inclusivity. Founded 17 years ago by Matie Fricker, Self Serve emerged from a vision to create a sex-positive environment that prioritizes people and well-being over profit. This unique approach has made Self Serve a vital resource in Albuquerque for individuals seeking empowerment and accurate information about sex and sexuality.
Tiziana Friedman, the outreach team coordinator, emphasizes the shop’s distinctive philosophy. “Self Serve is a sex-positive, education and health-focused sex shop. We believe that all bodies are good bodies deserving of love, exactly as they are. We believe that sex is healthy and pleasure is good for you,” she explains. This ethos permeates every aspect of Self Serve Albuquerque, from product selection to community engagement.
The Genesis of Self Serve: A Vision for Social Change
Matie Fricker’s journey to establishing Self Serve Albuquerque was inspired by her academic exploration of social change. While studying public service, she became fascinated by how human interactions can transform cultural and social norms. Working at a sex shop to support herself, Fricker realized the potential of such spaces to enact social change directly. She observed customers daily navigating vulnerability and empowerment in their personal experiences with sexuality.
However, Fricker also witnessed the problematic aspects of the broader sex industry. This led her to envision a different kind of establishment—one that prioritized individuals and their bodies above all else. She recognized a gap in Albuquerque for an education-focused, feminist sex shop that could offer a safer and more informed experience.
“Our expertise comes from the lived experience of doing the work that we do. It comes from the feminist tradition of learning from those who came before us, and it comes to being nerds about sex,” Fricker states, highlighting the unique blend of practical experience and informed knowledge that drives Self Serve Albuquerque.
Prioritizing Safety and Education: A Core Mission
A key differentiator for Self Serve Albuquerque is its commitment to product safety and customer education. Many sex toys in the market contain harmful chemicals like phthalates, which are used to enhance plastic durability but are linked to serious health concerns. According to research from the National Library of Medicine, phthalates have “reproductive, developmental and carcinogenic effects targeting the liver, testes, uterus, ovaries, thyroid and developing fetuses.” Despite these risks, many sex shops prioritize profit over safety by stocking unregulated and potentially harmful products.
Self Serve Albuquerque takes a different stance. They implement a rigorous testing process to ensure product safety, actively avoiding items containing known carcinogens. “There’s no reason to have so many known carcinogens in our sex lives, and it’s shocking to know (carcinogenic toys) are still around,” Fricker emphasizes. This dedication to safety underscores their commitment to customer well-being.
Beyond product safety, education is paramount at Self Serve Albuquerque. The shop features a curated selection of books on sensuality and sexuality. They also conduct various sex education classes and engage with the University of New Mexico to promote open conversations about sex-related topics.
Friedman elaborates on their outreach, “This week, I (had) a talk with the African American Student Services Center for Black HIV and AIDS awareness day … But we’ve also done comprehensive sex ed for adults, and that usually looks like educating those who come into the store.” This proactive approach to education positions Self Serve Albuquerque as a valuable community resource for accurate and inclusive sexual health information.
Inclusivity and Community Support: Cornerstones of Self Serve
Self Serve Albuquerque is deeply committed to creating an inclusive environment for everyone. This is evident in their extensive range of lingerie sizes, from XS to 6X, with select styles extending to 10X. Challenging industry norms, they maintain equitable pricing across all sizes. “We don’t charge more for our plus size lingerie (because) paying extra for bigger clothing is bullshit,” Friedman asserts, reflecting their dedication to fair and inclusive practices.
Furthermore, Self Serve Albuquerque extends discounts to abortion providers, sex workers, and students, recognizing and supporting these community segments. They also provide accessible emergency contraception, offering Plan B at a reduced price and operating a community distribution system for those in need. “Folks will buy Plan B for those who need it. Anybody can come in and get it without any question, and there’s no age limit on that,” Fricker explains, highlighting their commitment to accessible healthcare.
Community support extends beyond these initiatives. Every Tuesday, Self Serve Albuquerque donates 10% of their profits to Mutual Aid in Albuquerque, further embedding their commitment to local well-being.
A Welcoming Space for All Sexual Journeys
Self Serve Albuquerque welcomes individuals from all walks of life, regardless of their experiences with sexuality. “No matter what you have going on, we’re probably a good place for you,” Fricker concludes. “If you’re someone who loves sex and wants to have more of it, we’re great. If you’re someone who doesn’t love sex and has a lot of feelings about it, we have a lot of support too. No matter where you are, sexuality and our relationship to our bodies is a part of our lives, and throughout our lives.”
Self Serve Albuquerque offers a unique and essential service in Albuquerque, providing a safe, educational, and inclusive space to explore sexuality and wellness. Its feminist and Queer-owned foundation, combined with a strong emphasis on product safety and community support, distinguishes it as a leading example of sex-positive business practices.
