Albuquerque is home to a distinctive establishment that champions inclusivity and sexual wellness: Self Serve Toys. For the past 17 years, this feminist and Queer-owned sex shop has been serving the community, born from owner Matie Fricker’s vision to create more welcoming and education-focused spaces within the sex industry nationwide.
Tiziana Friedman, the outreach team coordinator at Self Serve Abq, expresses deep appreciation for the shop, highlighting the contrast between her experiences there and those at other sex shops. “Self Serve is rooted in sex-positivity, prioritizing education and health. We fundamentally believe in the goodness of all bodies, deserving of love exactly as they are. We advocate for sex as a healthy aspect of life and pleasure as something beneficial for well-being,” Friedman explains.
The Genesis of Self Serve: A Vision for Social Change
The inception of Self Serve ABQ traces back to Fricker’s academic exploration of social change theory during her public service studies in Boston. Social change, as defined by Southern New Hampshire University, is “the process by which human interactions and relationships transform cultural and social institutions over time.”
To sustain herself through her studies, Fricker took a job at a sex shop, an experience that ultimately solidified her career path. “During that time, I was not only studying the theory of social change but also actively participating in it. In the shop, I witnessed daily acts of bravery, vulnerability, and empowerment from individuals navigating their experiences and journeys of healing,” Fricker recounts.
However, her time in the industry also exposed Fricker to its less savory aspects. This realization, combined with insightful conversations, spurred her to envision a space that prioritized individuals and their bodies over mere profit. She saw a critical need, particularly in Albuquerque, for a feminist sex shop grounded in education.
“Our expertise is deeply rooted in our lived experiences within this field. It’s informed by feminist traditions, learning from the pioneers who came before us, and a genuine passion for the intricacies of sex,” Fricker states.
Prioritizing Safety and Education in Sexual Wellness
Self Serve ABQ distinguishes itself by its commitment to product safety. Friedman points out that many sex toys and ingestible products remain unregulated by the FDA and can contain carcinogens. Self Serve is dedicated to curating a selection of the safest products available, alongside providing reliable information.
Phthalates, chemicals used to enhance the durability of plastics, are among the concerning carcinogens found in some sex toys. Research from the National Library of Medicine indicates that phthalates have “reproductive, developmental, and carcinogenic effects, targeting vital organs such as the liver, testes, uterus, ovaries, thyroid, as well as developing fetuses.” While the full extent of phthalate effects on humans is still under investigation, studies have established their toxicity in animals.
Unlike many sex shops focused solely on maximizing profit margins by sourcing low-cost products, Self Serve ABQ implements a rigorous testing process to ensure the safety of their inventory, as Fricker explains. “There’s simply no justification for the continued presence of known carcinogens in products intended for our intimate lives. It’s alarming to realize how prevalent these carcinogenic toys still are,” Fricker emphasizes.
More Than Just Products: Education and Community Engagement
Self Serve ABQ goes beyond retail, functioning as a resource hub for sexual health and education. The shop features a curated collection of books covering sensuality, sexuality, and related topics. Friedman mentions their active involvement in conducting sex education classes and outreach programs at the University of New Mexico, engaging in vital conversations around sex education.
“Just this week, I led a discussion with the African American Student Services Center for Black HIV and AIDS Awareness Day. We also provide comprehensive sex education for adults, often through informal education as people visit our store,” Friedman shares.
Inclusivity at Its Core: Body Positivity and Accessibility
Central to Self Serve ABQ’s ethos is its unwavering commitment to inclusivity. Friedman proudly notes the shop’s extensive lingerie size range, from XS to 6X, with select styles extending up to 10X. “We firmly believe it’s unacceptable to charge more for plus-size lingerie. Paying extra for larger clothing sizes is simply unfair,” Friedman asserts.
Furthering their commitment to accessibility, Self Serve ABQ offers discounts to abortion providers, sex workers, and students. They also provide Plan B emergency contraception on-site at an affordable price of $14.98 per pill and operate a community distribution system to ensure access for those in need. “People generously purchase Plan B for community members who require it. Anyone can come in and obtain it without question, and there are no age restrictions,” Fricker clarifies.
Self Serve ABQ’s dedication to the Albuquerque community extends to financial support as well. Every Tuesday, the shop donates 10% of their profits to Mutual Aid initiatives in Albuquerque.
“Regardless of your background or experiences, Self Serve is likely a welcoming space for you,” Fricker concludes. “Whether you are someone who embraces and seeks to enhance your sex life, or someone grappling with complex feelings about sex, we offer support. Sexuality and our relationship with our bodies are integral parts of life for everyone, throughout all stages of life.”
This article is based on information from the Daily Lobo.
